In bed reading last night in the last few hours of being age 46.
In the year while 46, I had to help save a family business from financial ruin, preserve my father’s professional legacy, and prepare him to retire after 60 years of performing on stage... evacuate from the worst fire on record in my Malibu community, live in a black and burned disaster area for months with mudslides and power outages, all the while nursing a child back to health with multiple fractures in her jaw and rehabilitating my own body from the worst physical injury I have ever suffered... say goodbye to my favorite aunt who passed away at age 62, write and deliver her eulogy, and bury her alongside my mom... and through all of it, find my strength, not give up hope, persevere, and just feel it all (and cry a lot).
In the same year, I also smiled thousands of times, laughed with my sisters and husband and children and loved ones, enjoyed wonderfully meaningful talks with siblings and friends, took my kids to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for the first time, read profound, life changing books and learned more about the world and myself, wrote and wrote and wrote about what was in my heart and soul, was educated and gained newfound wisdom on a wide facet of topics regarding humanity, mental health, spirituality, mortality and overcoming adversity, saw Hamilton on stage two times, kissed and hugged and cuddled and said “I love you” to the ones I love as much as I could manage, and was inspired by the innate goodness of people and our shared intrinsic desire to bring joy and hope and love to other humans.
Today is my 47th birthday. This year in which I will gracefully age into 47 will also be one filled with challenges, most that will look and feel different than those of last year. Yet I am determined to also make it a year in which I let go of any fears that could paralyze me, embrace the unknown, learn and grow more, lean into vulnerability (more than I already do), love myself and others more deeply and authentically than ever before, and trust in what I know on the deepest level possible.